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Familiarize yourself with all the numerous Republican political parties in this conflict. Many of the differences between them may, at first glance, appear to be minor but were, in fact, irreconcilable. When Orwell arrived in Spain in , he joined the P. Formed in , it was decidedly anti-Stalinist and largely consisted of former Trotskyites. Based on his experiences, he explained these internal divisions brilliantly in his book and why the "Right" Communists and their allies stifled the revolution.

The general swing to the Right dates from about October-November , when the U. Except Russia and Mexico no country had had the decency to come to the rescue of the Government, and Mexico, for obvious reasons, could not supply arms in large quantities. Consequently the Russians were in a position to dictate terms At present nothing matters except winning the war; without victory in the war all else is meaningless. Therefore this is not the moment to talk of pressing forward with the revolution. We can't afford to alienate the peasants by forcing Collectivization upon them, and we can't afford to frighten away the middle classes who were fighting on our side.

Above all for the sake of efficiency we must do away with revolutionary chaos. We must have a strong central government in place of local committees, and we must have a properly trained and fully militarized army under a unified command. Clinging on to fragments of workers control and parroting revolutionary phrases is worse than useless; it is not merely obstructive, but even counterrevolutionary, because it leads to divisions which can be used against us by the Fascists.

At this stage we are not fighting for the dictatorship of the proletariat, we are fighting for parliamentary democracy. Whoever tries to turn the civil war into a social revolution is playing into the hands of the Fascists and is in effect, if not in intention, a traitor So, roughly speaking, the alignment of forces was this. On the one side the C. Orwell's Homage to Catalonia is available online in full. Do 'print preview' in your browser to see page numbers, which may differ from the printed version of the book.

Professor Chomsky's article is an indictment of the liberal scholars' counter-revolutionary biases in interpreting the Spanish Civil War. Notwithstanding the few thousand volunteers of the international brigades, the United States and most other European countries were not only suffering the debilitating effects of economic depression but were also in political isolationist mode. Fearful of a wider European war and with memories of the devastation caused by World War I still fresh on their collective minds, 27 countries signed a Non-Intervention Agreement in September , vowing not to arm either side in Spain.

Signing international agreements is one thing; abiding by them something altogether different. Once Germany and Italy started sending arms and troops in violation of the agreement, so did the Soviet Union. Other countries either maintained their stance of neutrality or sent minimal aid. Britain's Tory government, first under Stanley Baldwin and, then, Neville Chamberlain refused to get involved and ignored the massive support amongst British intellectuals and the working classes for the Republican cause in Spain.

Instead, many of their cabinet officials as well as business elites were sympathetic to Franco's Nationalists. In the case of French Prime Minister Leon Blum , who had been elected in February as leader of the Popular Front and should have been an ideological soulmate to Spain's Second Republic, intense external and internal pressures were exerted upon him not to send aid in this "factional" conflict.

It is interesting to note that the American embargo on Spain did not prevent Texaco from providing 3. Texaco was not the only American corporation to engage in such predictable behavior. British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain, above, in London upon his return from Munich in after meeting with Adolf Hitler and reaffirming Britain's desire never to go to war with Germany again , Source: The Munich Pact of September signaled the western powers' unwillingness or inability to confront Fascism and fight for their beliefs. In World War II, they would rectify this horrendous mistake.

Joseph Stalin's Soviet Union, perhaps more concerned with building "Socialism in One Country," was militarily unprepared for a major war. However, in exchange for Spain's gold reserves, it did send significant military aid to Republican forces but, importantly, very few fighting troops. Later, the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact of August -- which sealed Poland's fate and plunged the world into a global war -- was signed largely as an acknowledgement of the USSR's limited military capabilities.

General Franco's Nationalist forces were actively aided with the latest in military technology and troops by Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy. An important aspect of this was that the Nationalists were able to achieve air superiority by , one that gave them a clear advantage. The Western democracies could have done a lot more to aid the Spanish government but for a variety of reasons chose not to do so.

German and Italian military aid would prove to be crucial in helping the Nationalists ultimately prevail over the Republicans. Given that the odds were heavily stacked against his side, Bill Bailey later wrote in his memoirs that after a particularly difficult day on the battlefield, he had no regrets or feelings of remorse about fighting in Spain for a cause he deeply believed in and may have subconsciously been preparing for his entire life. I even try to find humor in the situation by asking myself what the hell I'm doing here, going through all this torture, when I could be safely home with an easy task like passing out leaflets calling for support of the Spanish people's cause or stuffing envelopes for some political campaign.

I'd be free from the dangers and the stink of death all around me. I know I would not be satisfied with that, and I try to remember where it all started, this great urge to right the wrongs of an insane society. Was it back when that cop slugged me on the picket line during my first effort to build a union? Or was it during the reform school riot when the guards forced me up against the wall with my hands raised over my head and made me watch as they clubbed into unconsciousness many of my friends? No, it went back farther than that. Somewhere the handwriting was on the wall and my destiny was spelled out for me.

Perhaps it was when I was clutching fast the handle of the baby carriage After Catalonia was overrun by the Nationalists in February , only Madrid and surrounding areas remained in Republican hands. By late March, the capital fell and the war was finally over on April 1, , Source: By the end of , most members of the Abraham Lincoln Brigade would return from Spain. In a last-ditch effort to change the course of the war, the Republican government would withdraw the international brigades, expecting that Germany and Italy would also do the same and recall all of their troops from Spain.

Both countries refused to do so. The war would be over in a few more weeks. Nine men commanded the Lincoln and Lincoln-Washington Battalions. There is no space to tell about them here but four are dead and four are wounded Milton Wolff, 23 years old, tall as Lincoln, gaunt as Lincoln and as brave and as good a soldier as any that commanded battalions at Gettysburg.

He is alive and unhit by the same hazard that leaves one tall palm tree standing where a hurricane has passed He is a retired major now at twenty-three and still alive and pretty soon he will be coming home as other men his age and rank came home after the peace at Appomattox courthouse long ago. Except the peace was made at Munich now and no good men will be at home for long. Ernest Hemingway writing about Milt Wolff from Spain in His explanation for his actions owed to his ancestry: If you pull the string, the soldier's leg moves up and down stomping the green Fascist insect - Source An Edwin Rolfe Exhibit.

... so help me God.

The struggle went on. The Lincolns, like so many other radical organizations, were decimated by the Red Scare and blacklists of the late s and s. But when the long night of the fifties began to lift and the civil rights and antiwar movements began to gather strength, the veterans were still around. During the next quarter-century and beyond, they once again took up the banner of the good fight as part of the peace movements that opposed U.

ejisytoqys.tk: Jonathan Simon - History: Books

In , British writer Tony Hendra traveled to Spain for a reunion of members of all the international brigades who had fought in Spain. He wrote an excellent article in Harpers Weekly magazine recounting what had happened to these men and women over the previous five decades. They found out soon enough that there was nothing simple about the Spanish Civil War -- not in their retreat, not in their defeat not in their homecoming.

For the rest of their lives, the mad, Byronic, utterly decent decision they made to die, if necessary, to stop fascism would be held against them. They were hounded into prisons and concentration camps, blacklisted, ostracized, driven to poverty, suicide, and oblivion -- often in the name of the very principles they'd tried to defend.

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The only ones for whom things turned out to be simple are still lying beneath the tawny dust of Spain. Read more about this ridiculous concept in this excellent article by Bernard Knox , "Premature Anti-Fascist. Over a third of the ALB volunteers were killed in Spain. No one forcibly drafted them. They weren't coerced in any way.

No pressures were put on them to risk their lives for another country. Many had never fired a gun let alone receive any formal military training. They were certainly not motivated by profits or other commercial concerns but, rather, simply cared a great deal about their fellow human beings. These brave, and largely-forgotten, men and women traveled to a land most had never seen before nor had any familiarity with.

They went to Spain because they believed deeply in their cause. Those who were lucky enough to survive and return home were labelled "Premature Anti-Fascists" by their government. Doesn't that oxymoronic term imply that the ALB volunteers were prescient in their contempt for Fascism? No matter the period and the circumstances, I don't think it is ever inappropriate to oppose a deadly and discredited Rightist ideology like Fascism.

What in the world was our government thinking? Legends of Our Time. In , Ernest Hemingway wrote of their colleagues who didn't make it back home. The fascists may spread over the land, blasting their way with weight of metal brought from other countries. They may advance aided by traitors and by cowards.

They may destroy cities and villages and try to hold the people in slavery. But you cannot hold any people in slavery. The Spanish people will rise again as they have always risen before against tyranny. The dead do not need to rise. They are a part of the earth now and the earth can never be conquered.

For the earth endureth forever. It will outlive all systems of tyranny. Those who have entered it honorably, and no men ever entered earth more honorably than those who died in Spain , already have achieved immortality. Bill Bailey passed away in He was eighty five years old. He never did have to mail that letter he had written to his mom from Spain in Dazed5 - Dale Winton is made entirely of helium. Darren - Corned beef is made from real corn plasters. Boolbar - Today has been cancelled. It has been replaced by a repeat of 13th March I'd be glad to repeat it.

Boolbar - When I were lad, we had t'live life in a broken time loop 'til truth trashed us 'round t'ears. Raak - I am really looking forward to receiving a ceremonial paperweight from my employer in three years time. Shit, twenty-two years I've been here. How did that happen? Projoy - Sorry, I had to go to London to meet the Queen. Kayl - I've always thought of you as a royalist. Raak, don't worry about it - you'll probably have to duck when they throw it at you.

Dunx - Larry Wall is a Perly King. Kim - Larry King is a Perly Wall. Bob the dog - King Larry has a wall eye. Boolbar - Kinky Gary has a wallaby. Darren - The wallaby enjoys it. Projoy - Carpets are now banned in US embassies worldwide, in order to prevent terrorism. Darren - However, he spells "Brother" without the first "r. Ibid - Henry II had a beard made out of tortoiseshell. Ibid - Chepstow smells of mothballs. Ibid - Carpets dissolved in gin are a fashionable drink in Aberdeen. Ibid - The rubber duck is a symbol of evil in Venice. Projoy - Kippers hold the secret of the universe in their minds, but fishermen never bother trying to ask them what it is.

Ibid - Twenty per cent of European swallows can lift an unladen Volkswagen Beetle. Darren - There is only one rubber duck, and it teleports itself unseen from one bathtub to the next. Anywhere more than one rubber duck is seen at once, mirrors have been employed. Ibid - Proper whisky is turquoise. Ibid - Pigments used in the Mona Lisa include toad vomit and essence of pigeon spleen. Ibid - Prince Edward is the world champion at pork pie juggling, keeping pies in the air for over one minute.

Ibid - Corgis have a gestelt intellect. Ibid - Windsor Castle is made of prefabricated cardboard and pine twigs. Ibid - Donald Rumsfeld is the second favourite in the 3: Ibid - Siberian tigers collect binoculars.


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Boolbar - There is no way I'd forget to put my shirt in the car to change into when I get to work, so I wouldn't spend the rest of the day in a running vest. My work colleagues wouldn't take the piss either. Bob the dog - Paul Young just came 'round for a cup of sugar. Apparently he is the new Kajagoogoo front-man to replace 'Fish' out of Marrilion. I heard it was a pint of milk he wanted. Ibid - The British are the most feared tennis players in the world. Ibid - On the 23rd of Auguest each year, Berwick-upon-Tweed hosts a custard painting festival.

Ibid - By sheer coincidence, all Lufthansa pilots are experts in origami. Ibid - The cheese under the fridge is completely safe to consume. Ibid - My lightbulbs are staring at me. Ibid - My left hand is plotting a bloodless coup against my right foot. However, my left earlobe has discovered this and is sending in peacekeeping forces.

Ibid - If you hum C sharp in a falsetto, you will notice your ceiling has become transparent. Ibid - Your shoelaces report directly to Donald Rumsfeld each evening. Ibid - There is no crime in Nottingham. Ibid - Llamas become terminally hyperactive if fed Wensleydale. Ibid - Projoy invented the little plastic bits at the end of shoelaces. Ibid - Three of Shakespeare's plays were originally intended for a cast comprised entirely of dogs.

Ibid - The people of Pershore communicate entirely in morse code. Ibid - The Rother Valley is terrorised by eight feet long dragonflies that secrete agent orange from pores on their tails. Ibid - It is physically impossible to post 18 consecutive lies on this game. Ibid - In Cardiff, ferocious pensioners terrorise the streets, tearing down entire buildings in their eagerness to get at the fibre glass insulation inside.

They then sell this to Bolivian merchants, who ship it home on one extremely well trained and muscular carrier pigeon. Bob the dog - I recently met and fell in love with the smallest bat in the world at a late night roller disco. He was performing as a bass guitarist in the complementary cabaret act as part of a progressive jazz combo called Whoops, Butterfingers. Sadly, we can never have children because he is addicted to crabsticks and too much salty food diminishes semen and eyesight.

Ibid - Worn sections of carpet can make a healthy and nutritious breakfast. Projoy - I was 10 years old before I learned to tie my shoelaces, and I was 20 before I realised that the idea was to tie each one separately. Darren - I got up really early this morning. Blob - Sarcasm is always appreciated for what it is. There is no chance that anyone will ever think you actually believe what you're saying.

I'm above a sole pun too Bob the dog - Another useful application of GM technology. Clarke said "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from extreme drunkeness. No-one passed out in the toilets at all! Boolbar - [Dr Q, snorgle] I'm glad I was there! Bob the dog - I had a fabulous weekend. I went down to Glastonbury for the festival, danced solidly from morn till night before poppin' a green Smartie. Instantly I was aware of the harmony in the universe and of the one true love which binds us all. I stayed up discussing theology with the Polyphonic Spree and Thom Yorke came to my tent for a cup of sugar.

Nah, I didn't have to work at all. Boolbar - [BtD] Diamanda Galas popped around for a cup of Shergar yesterday as she was feeling a little horse. Luckily I still had some left I've used up the right side. Bob the dog - I had a cup of Camp coffee this morning. It was wearing pink spandex flares. Lib - I am totally normal as I am really enjoying reading the new Harry Potter. Ibid - The streets of Barnsley are paved with the crushed bones of those nosy enough to ask what the streets are paved with. Dunx - House hunting is a tremendously relaxing occupation, as long as you have a large enough net.

Darren - Rather than mopping your brow, it's much quicker if you use a vacuum cleaner. Darren - A good way of cleaning your teeth is to use a chainsaw. Bob the dog - By an odd coincidence, 'Legs' is the title of Dick Cheney's new album, a concept project based on an unfortunate auto-erotic experience with a vacuum cleaner. Boolbar - [BtD] I've got that album, it sucks. Projoy - Allamagoosa is the state capital of Florida. Projoy - Nematode worms are all rather sarcastic. Projoy - I am a single man in possession of a good fortune, and in want of a wife. Projoy's wife - I am also a single man in possession of a good fortune, and in want of a wife.

This is why we married. We have similar tastes. Projoy - Reader, I married you. Dujon - We didn't bother having a July 4th this year. Bob the dog - Oddly enough, neither did we. We just went straight from the Thurs 3rd to the Sat 5th, which was stupid really as I usually get paid on Fridays.

Darren - Although the 3rd July fell on a Thursday, and the 5th fell on a Saturday, this year the 4th July was Christmas. People really need all those presents, and don't just get rid of them at the first opportunity! Projoy - My underpants have gunwales and are staffed by a small army of sailors who use cannon to sink any enemy underpants that come too close.

Boolbar - I wear overpants over my underpants to protect them from the elements especially Sodium and Seaborgium who frequently gang together and tease my underpants. Projoy - I wear underunderpants so that my underpants don't have to feel they have no role in life. Breadmaster - An onion is simply a grape with two many layers of pants. Projoy - In order to make my meanings clear in many different contexts, I always add xml tags into my speech. Projoy - I can identify any tune, simply by licking the grooves on a vinyl record.

Projoy - The role of Hamlet has never yet been performed by a man. Projoy - As well as their range of "Frappucinos", Starbucks also do a line of "Fappucinos", which are handy for artificial insemination. Projoy - Sitting on a garden sprinkler can help ward off pleurisy. Projoy - To make sure I stay on the right side of the law, there's a little 3 foot policeman that walks around with me, holding my left hand. Projoy's wife - Actually it is me in disguise. I like to know what my 'naughty boy' gets up to when he is at large. Projoy's wife - Interestingly my disguise is not as a policeman at all.

I think my husband is confused by the big blue helmet. Bob the dog - I am a distance vet and psychically can heal ailing animals. Projoy - Contrary to popular belief, you can recognise freemasons very easily, as they all carry around a small hod of bricks and wear purple facepaint at all times - although not necessarily on their faces.

Projoy - Wading through treacle is rather like filling out tax forms. Projoy - All cats spend a lot of their time doing spectral analysis on things, but will slip out of their white coats and act casual if a human comes into the room. Projoy - 70 percent of cats under the age of 20 smoke. Bob the dog - I appologise if your vet is not healed - I was not concentrating at the time.

Bob the dog - I am not embarrassed by my errors in spelling, grammar and syntax. Bob the dog - I had too much sleep last night. Bob the dog - Goats make excellent toffee. It is thought that the arrival of these visitations from another planet will herald a new age of world quiche. Projoy - Americans wearing t-shirts are exercising their constitutional right to bare arms. Projoy - Sandwiches have just won the right, under European law, to apply for jobs and rent houses.

Projoy - Gosh, and already a family of pastrami on rye has moved in next door to me. Dazed5 - A Burmese python can swallow a second-hand Ford Fiesta whole. Dazed5 - In world war II the first prototype of the bouncing bomb was made entirely from chives. Projoy - Metro, Goldwyn and Meyer are all the names of lines on the Basle underground railway. Projoy - Playing any piece in the key of A sharp will cause it to be clearly audible to any policeman within a twenty mile radius.

This is why policemen's whistles are tuned to A sharp. Bob the dog - Barry White came 'round to see me this morning. He and his boyfriend Elvis wanted to borrow a cup of sugar. Without my permission he sang an impromptu version of 'I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you' by the Mouldy Peaches. When he got to the line Screwed up your face and did a little dance, Shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants I threw him out. I won't have that kind of nonsense going on in my kitchen No siree.

Boolbar - I wish penelope would stop shaking my head and send it back to me at Box Wells-by-the-sea Atlantis. Projoy - The Moldy Peaches are almost at the end of their career because of their extreme state of decomposition. As it stands they are currently reduced to playing only refrigerated venues. Bob the dog - Everyone in Wells-by-the-sea has a brother called Keith Hudson. Projoy - Wells by the sea are a bit pointless. Dunx - The Mouldy Peaches are just the pits.

Projoy - Spencer Perceval was the first pelican to be elevated to the post of Prime Minister. What a pity therefore that I live in Manchester and am going to Malta for my holidays. Inkspot - Valletta is known as the Blackpool of the Mediterranean due to the high proportion of visitors from 'p north. Projoy - Your carriage awaits, my lady. Ibid - The baggage handlers at Manchester airport remove the contents of 1 out of every 10 suitcases and fill them with moss.

Projoy - The river Cam is in a poor state of preservation and is quite frequently taken away for restoration. Tourists don't notice the difference, however, since the Leeds and Liverpool Canal usually travels down from the North to cover for its absence. Projoy - Loch Lomond is taking all this week off sick with stress too. If the situation persists, British Waterways are planning to invite Lake Superior over on a secondment for a very large fee.

Projoy - And, in some late news, Cape Wrath has just resigned. Boolbar - A puppy in the office increases productivity. Boolbar - Sock puppets were invented by the Duke of Wellington when he wanted to entertain the troops. Boolbar - Modern movies are still silent movies, they just enjoy a lot of people and an orchestra to stand behind the screen creating the sounds that you hear. Boolbar - Oh, by the way, your boss is currently naked and being whipped. Boolbar - Luckily my proof reading skills are so advanced, I would never use the word "enjoy" when I meant to use the word "unicorn".

Poets, Artists, Authors, and Soldiers in the Spanish Civil War

Bob the pig - Aylesbury has just been voted European Opal Fruit town Raak - Potters Bar has just been voted Pub of the Year. Boolbar - Lickey End has just been banned for performing lewd acts. Dunx - Blubberhouses has had to relinquish its role as capital of England to an up and coming sheep shearing town on the banks of the Thames. Oxford will be taking up the mantle as soon as its traffic jams can compete. Projoy - There is no such thing as cash in Azerbaijan. All exchanges are conducted with used tissues.

Projoy - Krispy Kreme Donuts are made of sand. Projoy - All US Presidents since have had bionic ankles fitted to enable them to bound out of danger if an assassin comes near. Projoy - All of Dostoevski's novels were written first on used tissues. Projoy - The next Ford car will be called the "Gerald".

Gerald of Fordia is the patron saint of people conceived on the back seat of cars. Dujon - Which is why some rear seats are termed 'Dickie' seats. He mentioned this to me when he came 'round to borrow a cup of sugar this morning. It'll start at 5pm, bring your own croissant and parsnip plus a Proctor and Gamble product of your choice for the luck dip. Projoy - Radio 4 has recently developed halitosis, causing its ratings to fall heavily. Projoy - I may live in a ground floor flat, but I'm still having a loft conversion.

Projoy - I own a chain of Malaysian restaurants right across Africa. Projoy - My cheque book is m long. She mentioned this to me when she came 'round to borrow a cup of peat this morning. It'll start at 2pm, bring your own scissors and Pritstick plus a Trebor product of your choice for the fondue. Projoy - The best cure for a toothache is oil of gloves. Projoy - I share my flat with an outsize marmoset. Mary the Marmoset - [Projoy] I'm not outsized, I'm just big-boned!


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  7. Ibid - The lightbulbs in my sitting room have been filled with millimetre tall tungsten replicas of Michaelangelo's David. Ibid - Bolivian agents have been sneaking into my bedroom at night and darning my socks. Projoy - I share another of my flats with Miss Demeanor. Projoy - Peanut butter is made from anchovies and sump oil.

    Projoy - My third flat is underwater and is rented by a Manatee named Hugh. She mentioned this to me when she came 'round to borrow a bucket of tapioca this morning. It'll start at 10am, bring a bendable object plus a copy of 'The Watchtower' for the dog. Dunx - Repetition commands respect. Ibid - 'Ferrari Testarossa' is Italian for 'red balls of iron'. Ibid - The outline of the largest city of Guam is a perfect match of Pitt the Elder's buttocks.

    Ibid - The major exports of the British Virgin Isles are bakelite swans, the bits of plastic on the ends of shoelaces, and reconditioned paperclips. It is capable of healing all diseases except for dropsy. Rosie - Dropsy is one of the Teletubbies Canadian version. Uncle Korky - Due to time travel, this evening's news will be on at 4. This will be followed by an episode of EastEnders from January Chalky - The Teletubbies were conceived in a disused fridge in Penge. Ibid - Penge is one of the wonders of the world.

    It's marble towers reach up into the skies, the colourful markets are full of the freshest produce, and great parks echo to the sounds of birds and the happy townsfolk. The roads leading to the Great South Gate through the white city walls are stained only be the tears of locals who are leaving, and visitors who know they will never see such a beautiful sight again. Projoy - This lie is my life's work. Bob the dog - "Yoffy" from Fingerbobs has invited us all out for a swinging pilgrimage curry at the Dilshad Tandoori on Sunday the 27th.

    He popped in to borrow a wheelbarrow full of feathers this morning. Uncle Korky - During an investigation into the recent crive wave sweeping South Korea, authorities have uncovered massive infiltration by the Mafia. The shadowy figure at the centre of the trouble is known only as James Brown. This is because he is the Godfather of Seoul. Raak - Big Ben has never been more than 1 second wrong since the day it was built. The greatest excursion from accuracy occurred on March 26, , at He was immediately relieved of the post, and excuted by being tied to the clapper of the great bell while it next struck midnight.

    Breadmaster - I neither smiled nor chuckled happily upon reading Uncle Korky's inspired post. Dujon - Black humour was invented by Othello. Breadmaster - All of Shakespeare's plays were actually named after board games, most of which no longer survive. It is complete apart from a missing Kate.

    I've been looking everywhere for a replacement, but the nearest I've found is a Bottom. Projoy - I don't think there's a game idea in that.

    Ibid - Your carpet is alive. It is listening to everything you say, reporting everything you do to its masters. Charlton Athletic - Spam is people! Jim Morrison - People aren't really that strange. Bob the dog - Jim] Thats not what you said this morning when you popped round for a cup of sugar and I answered the door in my caterpillar suit. Bob the dog - Beige is the new faun. Mustard is the new puce and ecru is the new off-white sort of cream.

    Bob the dog - My toungue is eleven feet long. Ibid - Nobody would dare to mention my tongue in anything less than the most glowing terms. It can reroute mighty rivers with one lick, turn mountain ranges into gentle plains, carve deep gorges from the flattest of land.

    If it chooses, it can alter the entire space-time continuum with a simple ululation. Bob the dog - Ibid] Watch it sunshine, your ululations have just emptied my kidney shaped swimming pool. Dunx - Midnight velvet is the new black. Bob the dog - Cyan does not exist. It is a pigment of the imagination. Dunx - The disappearance of certain shades of blue is a cyan of the times. Boolbar - Maladya is the female form of Magenta.

    Uncle Korky - Magenta Divine has been appointed as the new head of MI6, and has apparently insisted that the new James Bond be played by a woman. Bob the dog - 'Dave' the beetle is currently the leading exponent of invertebrate rights in the European parliament. Projoy - Watson and Crick are being used as aerials on the top of my block of flats. Their BBC2 reception is rubbish. Projoy - Montagues and Capulets are rival brands of chocolate filled biscuits. Projoy - There is a special second level domain - rope.

    Projoy - The Catholic church has just purchased a new domain under that hierarchy. Projoy - Icann is about to introduce a several new top level domains to increase capacity for popular types of sites. Projoy - They turned down lobbying for. Projoy - Although they will be introducing. Projoy - God never carries cash with him, preferring instead to use Luncheon Vouchers. Projoy - The Roman emperor Caracalla paid for everything in slices of camel.

    He was accompanied everywhere by a special camel slicer, whose art lay not in causing the beast minimal pain, but by preventing very large sections from collapsing into bits. Projoy - To transport soldiers to Normandy in , the government requisitioned five thousand Mini Coopers. Projoy - I am a member of seventy six thousand gymnasia.

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    Projoy - Cromwell only popped down to Naseby town centre to get some tweezers and a ham roll, but he met one or two royalists there and things got a bit out of hand. I'm putting pictures of the Red Dragon that follows me around. Projoy - Caxton invented fig rolls. Projoy - The new Miffy book is out, entitled "Miffy is Squiffy". Projoy - Patricia Hodge just came round and performed her new West End show in my kitchen in exchange for a brandy snap.

    Projoy - Patricia Hodge has a new West End show. Projoy - Maureen Lipman is my Jewish Grandma. Projoy - Antonym is the opposite of Cleopatra. Projoy - The best place to look for salvation is in the shrub pots in Leominster town centre, ideally on a smoky Thursday afternoon. Projoy - I have saved 3, souls. With compound interest, this means I now own nearly 4, souls.

    Projoy - Roger Kimball is holding my dog hostage, and is demanding a slab of fudge, like, that big to release him. Projoy - All tenth-graders dream of being fairy princesses when they grow up, which puts rather a strain on school career officers, having to manage expectations.

    Projoy - James Buchanan became President shortly after commencing a particularly intricate jigsaw puzzle. Unable to be distracted from it by affairs of state, he continued to work on it for almost his entire term of office. When he eventually placed the last piece and looked up to hear what his official had been saying about Kansas, he discovered Abraham Lincoln was in the room, having just been sworn in, insisting that the jigsaw be swept off the table forthwith.

    The jigsaw was broken up by an official. Buchanan never recovered from the heartbreak and died irritably a few years later. Boolbar the Fairy Princess - [Projoy] Luckily for me, my dream came true! Boolbar - Badgers only watch black and white movies. Boolbar - Workmen digging up the road would never piss in your hedge. He was known as the "Fastest Fascist". Then he gained a lot of weight and became known as the "Fattest Fastest Fascist".

    Then he became a green grocer and was known as the "Freshest Fattest Fastest Fascist". Projoy - If you lack testosterone, you can top up instead with Toblerone. Projoy - Croupiers are selected for the profession because they suffered from croup in childhood. Projoy - I carry a convenient portable ATM with me everywhere. It issues notes and advice slips. The most recent advice it gave me was to polish my shoes before an important interview.

    Ibid - Artichokes can smell fear. Bob the artichoke - Yes, it smells like butterscotch. Projoy - The Food Nutrition Standards Agency has just announced the findings of a study to identify the healthiest possible breakfast. This consists of a cold cup of coffee with blobs of Mercury stirred in as well as croutons. Ibid - Croutons are the sub-atomic particle propagating the action of cabbage. Dunx - Whereas coupons are the sub-atomic particles propagating the action of revolution.

    Dunx - We've run out of lies. Boolbar the Fairy Princess - I kissed a frog today and it turned into a handsome fridge. So we will have lots of deep frozen truths to defrost and use in this game. Dunx - It is only safe to keep truths frozen for six days at a time, otherwise they become poisonous. All divine decisions are made probabilistically -- contrary to popular belief, God not only rolls dice, but bets compulsively on the outcome.

    He is also a sore loser and has been barred from most of the major Las Vegas casinos. Projoy - I am a professional fairy princess. Projoy - My wife is a freelance goblin. Bob the dog - Terminator 3 is not a disappointing waste of time. I can't wait until it comes out on video so that I can see it all over again. Boolbar - Arnold Schwarzenegger is a keen player of "Stations Revenge".

    You often hear him say "I'll be Bank". Raak - Now I have broadband, my internet activities will take only a fraction of the time they used to. Chalky - Talking of internet activities, the Obcure Vault 99 will now filter off all cryptochat, therefore, I will spend considerably less time in this site. Try Mandarin, or Arabic, for starters. Thos - I have recently evolved and am now classified as Even Homoier Sapiens. You all needed to know that as well. Lib - Dr Q knows how to spell diarrhoea. Lib - I have a really good grasp of the British and the American forms of English.

    It never confuses me. Dunx - [Dr Q] Too, right cobber. Dunx - Placement of commas is irrelevant. You will be punctuated. Boolbar - I ran over a semi-colon in my car today. I got a punctuation in a tyre. Bob the dog - - Which is exactly opposite to Hells Angles. Bob the dog - Most Hells' Angles have excellent degrees. Bob the dog - Hells' Angles ride protractors. Dunx - [Dr Q] Do they hang around in the set square?

    Or just make acute remarks? Projoy - [Dunx] I've heard they just make obtuse observations. Bob the dog - They are called Hells' Angles because they like sin. Or am I going off a tangent? Dunx - The Hell's Angles tend to overstate their doings, though - it's all hyperbolic sin. Dunx - And although most of the Hell's Angles are completely helical on something most of the time, their ruler is completely straight.

    Dunx - [Projoy] That's just a reflex. Thos - I recently invented the antitractor as the best way of measuring angles inaccurately. Boolbar - [Thos] My Aunty drives a tractor inaccurately as well. Projoy - A process that is contracted is the opposite of a protracted process. Projoy - I have a neutractor, which reserves its opinion on how big an angle is. Dunx - And I've got a brand new combine harvester. I'm hanging onto the key though. Projoy - I can see through all the walls in my office building. Boolbar - My office building has no walls.

    We have to take it in turns to stand at the corners to hold the roof up. Projoy - Surely a doddle for a fully-qualified fairy princess? Projoy - Cilla Black lives in the bins out the back of the London Astoria. Projoy - It is illegal to download photographic material off the internet. That's why I work around physicists. Projoy - There are as many pebbles on the shore as there are atoms in the universe.

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