People have more self-awareness by being an observer of themselves. They practice self-management intentionally and learn to be more empathetic and social aware. They are more present in relationships. The major concern I have is that in the workplace there are those who are jealous of my intelligence and job experience that I achieved prior to coming to my present job.
I was an officer in the U. Army and this is a sewcond career for me. I seem to be stuck in a lower level job in production as a supervisor. I do not wnt to resort to Machiavellian strategies to get ahead. Sincerly Yours, Bruce L. I would agree that EQ is just as important as IQ. When you look at the negative influences that become such a huge distraction for children in these communities drugs, delinquency, violence, etc.
No matter what the IQ level, these children are losing their way well before they are able to flex their intellectual muscles! Social Emotional Learning SEL programs give children the tools they need to effectively deal with conflict they face in their lives and making good decisions. This is critical when you are dealing with generations of families who may or may not be passing those tools onto their children. Implementing such programs in early elementary school before the bad influences tend to take over and building a culture of SEL throughout K, would create a generation of young men and women who are equipped to deal with conflict and emotion effectively.
This not only will help their success in avoiding destructive paths in their lives, but will also open them up to the value of education with the right coaching from teachers and older students who already possess the tools to be successful in their lives. This kind of change would take more than individual programs that exist on their own. They must be woven into the everyday culture throughout a K in order to ensure that the skills are transferred into everyday life. Even if they are taught how to apply the skills in their lives, they still need the reinforcement outside of the classroom in order to make that transfer happen and to make it a lasting change in behavior.
I would like to personally thank you for writing Emotional and Social Intelligence. I havent finished the second one yet, but i am loving it. Your books have taught me how to understand myself and the world surrounding me, they have lead me through hard times and have been a great guide! Nobody cares how much you know till they know how much you care! When kids and grown-ups too learn that they could seek help and always depend on others to fill-in knowledge and skill gaps that would have required significantly higher effort if they went about it on their own , they tend to achieve more and in essence build higher IQ.
EQ helps us to better leverage resources and opportunities domiciled in others in our spheres of influence and environment. No single human, no matter how smart has monopoly of knowledge and resources. EQ is essential to building and utilising people and technology networks.
We do not need research data to deduce that a kid that early on in life learns how to relate with people and in the process learn more and encounter more information and challenges that build up current in his neural nerves and force his brain and mind to process more information has a much higher possibility of attaining higher IQ than if he kept to himself and remained content in his own little world. I am a big admirer of Mr. He changed my life as well as the lives of people around me who came to agree with me on EI. Such as research, mathematics, economics, technologies etc..
Such as leaders and managers. Even though it is unlikely for people in the first to want to move to the second i. I read your book when it first came out, and I absolutely loved it. However, it was not until years later did I realise what a significant part it would eventually play in my life. EI is now the wrapping paper around everything we do. From coaching executives and owners to running customised corporate training. We dovetail best business practice with the fundamentals of EI.
We use a robust EI assessment tool, which gives clients an inner compass to make better choices. So thank you so much for articulating so well what we have known for so long, that our feelings play a significant part in our decsion making. I totally agree with you. I work in a team of seven led by a supervisor who is not fantastic at the job but brilliant at soft skills. This is what has differentiated her from the pack and she shines more than her peers.
It seems so easy for me to review and manage the works of others and so hard to apply the same standards to myself. Often it is to my detriment to be my own critic, so reading your works has allowed me to increase my EI significantly. And as a corrective this is important when one happens to live in a country with elections, jury trials, and a market economy.
The assumption of rationality sits alongside explicit attempts to tap into our emotional responses view spoiler [advertising, many news stories, films, dramas, politics hide spoiler ]. Tuning into our emotions, Goleman argues, is the first step in avoiding being entirely driven by them. In terms of history, culture, society, all those big things and what is needed to bring abut change this book reminds me again of water percolating down through limestone. Things take their own time, where and when they emerge is not something that can be known in advance. Looking over this book again it strikes me how twenty years is barely a blink of an eye when it comes to changing fundamental mental models.
View all 20 comments. Jul 04, Lars Guthrie rated it really liked it. After several years of looking at this seminal work on my to-read list, I am happy to have finally read it. It should be on the to-read list of educators and parents. To learn and to grow, children first need to be ready to learn and to grow. However, how and what we need to learn today can differ significantly from the requirements of our ancestors. Evolution equipped us with an early warning system, the limbic system of our brains and its marvelous filter, the amygdala.
This system connects se After several years of looking at this seminal work on my to-read list, I am happy to have finally read it. This system connects sensory perception to emotional reactions based on experiences encountered in environments where survival depended on immediate and intense responses--fight or flight.
When you are hunting a woolly mammoth or being hunted by a saber-toothed tiger, careful analysis can be less helpful than a rush of adrenaline-filled momentum. Fortunately, evolution has also met more modern-day needs. The limbic core of our brains is surrounded by the neo-cortex.
The front part of this add-on to human brains, which continues to grow after birth, is larger than in other animals, and highly malleable. The way this area develops is the key to emotional intelligence. The proficiency with which we identify and deal with the emotions engendered in the limbic system is the measure of how well we can avoid becoming victims of what Goleman terms 'emotional hijacking.
Genetics, Goleman believes, do play a part here. The very outlooks with which we are born, optimistic or pessimistic, indicate obvious propensities for high or low emotional intelligence. The incredible plasticity of our brains, though, means we are not prisoners of nature. If we consciously develop those neural pathways to the parts of our brains associated with attending to emotions, we can strengthen a 'self-aware' style of managing them that Goleman notes is so much more effective than what he calls 'engulfed' and 'accepting' styles. While recent studies have indicated the remarkable adaptability of the brain into old age, it is during childhood and adolescence, Goleman notes, where we have the largest 'windows of opportunity.
Reading the book strengthened my desire for a continuation of this trend. Without emotional intelligence, we are susceptible to 'flooding' where an emotional response such as anger generates more anger. Goleman's description of the biology here is fascinating. Anger is amplified as our brains release catecholamines, neurotransmitters that keep the nervous system ramped up and raring to go. When children are 'flooded,' they can not be good students. Reading it really made me think about my own style of managing my own emotions.
In particular, two observations by Goleman really resonated with me. One is that men, it appears, generally have a lower threshold for 'flooding' than women. If that seems counter-intuitive, it's because men often use withdrawal--stonewalling--as a way of dealing with flooding, rather than the self-expression we stereotypically associate with femininity.
The second is Goleman's consideration of substance abuse as self-medication. People who are prone to addiction may actually be searching for control of depression, anxiety or rage. The importance of 'Emotional Intelligence' is apparent in the many references made to it in popular culture. It is also an accessible and entertaining book that deserves a place on the shelves of those concerned with learning and the brain.
Feb 01, Andy rated it it was ok. It certainly contains a lot of useful info, but boy, is it ever dense! Reading it is like hacking your way through a dense jungle with a dull machete. In other words, nature, not nurture. I get the distinct impression that Goleman doesn't really like people that don't "fit in". There is little sympathy or compassion for anyone who is a little "different", or not accepted by their peers, and there's a negative tone directed toward social outcasts in general, even those who happen to be children Sample subheading from the book: Oct 18, Tina rated it it was amazing.
I read this book after a big break up and it really opened my eyes to how I contributed to that break up. It's extremely important to have emotional intelligence and this is a fascinating discussion behind the theory and science of EI. View all 3 comments. Apr 30, Kristl rated it liked it Recommends it for: I had to read this book for a leadership academy I was in and I found this to be a surprisingly good experience. The book introduces and explains the concept of "emotional intelligence," which, since beginning to read the book, I see is so much more important than almost any other awareness one could have on a day-to-day basis personally and professionally.
Don't be shocked, if, in describing the many levels of emotional intelligence or lack thereof, you immediately think of friends, family, and c I had to read this book for a leadership academy I was in and I found this to be a surprisingly good experience. Don't be shocked, if, in describing the many levels of emotional intelligence or lack thereof, you immediately think of friends, family, and coworkers that fit these personality types exactly. Once you begin to understand the makings of emotion and how different temperaments react to the varying levels of emotion, problems of all sorts seem to make more sense than ever before.
The book is laid out into easily-digested chapters which the readers can pick and choose through based on their interests in the subject brain chemistry? It will be a better world when emotional intelligence or "EQ" is regarded as much or more than intelligence in deciding the viability of leaders at all levels and in all segments of any organization. If you think you don't have a high IQ and thus, your are condemned to a mediocre life. What this book is about: Second, it provides an almost accurate introduction to what EQ is, what elements contribute to a high EQ and finally what the consequences of strength and Recommended to: Second, it provides an almost accurate introduction to what EQ is, what elements contribute to a high EQ and finally what the consequences of strength and weakness in each element would be Pros of the book are as follows: It fulfils its apostleship very well and by having it finished, given that you might be hopeless regarding the possibility of one day becoming a highly successful figure you will be motivated to cultivate your emotional skills.
Book Review–“Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ” by Daniel Goleman
Cons of the book are as follows: In explaining each aspect of the EQ and results of weakness and strength in that attribute, the book is tooooooooooooo lengthy and repetitive. The book is by no means practical and provides merely an overview of what can be done to obviate the weaknesses. Here are some selections of insightful parts of the book: All emotions are, in essence, to act, the instant plans for handling life that evolution has instilled in us.
But we can have some say in how long an emotion will last. Brooding fuels anger's flames. But seeing things differently douses those flames Distraction is one of the most potent mood-altering devices Being worry psychologically gives us the illusion of being in control and prepared for potential dangers while none actually exists. Sadness that a loss brings, closes down our interest in diversions and pleasures, fixes our attention on what has been lost, and saps our energy for starting new endeavours.
Depressed people hence, jump from one depressing thought to another. Distraction would be a potent remedy. Apr 24, Jim rated it it was ok Shelves: There are some interesting things in the book, things that are hard to disagree with, such as emotional skills and self-knowledge are important. I think a lot of people who liked this book focused on that self-help aspect. I have no problem with that. My problems with this book stem from the wider claims Goleman makes for EQ as a mental function.
Goleman bases this aspect of his theory on some whopping assumptions. The biggest one is the idea that emotional intelligence even exists. The main asp There are some interesting things in the book, things that are hard to disagree with, such as emotional skills and self-knowledge are important. The main aspects of EQ he posits self-awareness, social-awareness,etc. Another assumption is that there is an acceptable norm of emotional intelligence. This raises the question, what about people who don't meet the norm? Under Goleman's narrow definition, people with autism, even many on the high-functioning end of the spectrum, would not qualify as possessing a desirable EQ level, neither would the introvert who prefers books to people.
It is here that I found Goleman's ideas to be particularly objectionable. There's a whiff of something truly unpleasant here. However, we know that even people with severe autism are able to learn emotional skills. Goleman makes the grand claim that, throughout history, great leaders all had high EQ levels. As a historian, this made me cringe when I first read it. Unless one has access to a person's psychiatric records, it is always extremely problematic to make all but the most qualified claims about the psychology of historical figures.
The EQ theory has many of the same flaws as theories of IQ. Older IQ tests assumed that intelligence was easily measured and that there was a single kind of intelligence. One frequently encountered people who had low IQ scores but who functioned intelligently or had highly advanced skills in some areas but not others.
We now speak of multiple intelligences , seeing them as a skills set. We might be born with a tendency to some intelligences over others, but these are shaped by enviromental factors and can be influenced through learning, rather than something neurologically innate. I'm willing to accept the idea that people are born with a range of abilities to recognize and respond to emotional interaction. I think these emotional responses are learned behaviors to a much greater degree than Goleman would allow. The problem with books like Goleman's is that it presents one side of a very contentious debate, but it might be the only book on the subject many people will read.
Dec 05, Mimi rated it liked it Recommended to Mimi by: IRL book club pick for summer When you're good with people and also a good speaker , you reach leadership level positions much faster. Well, this book was written in the early s, and while it's been revised and updated since then, the information has been repeated so many times, it's nearly common knowledge by now. Forgot to clarify this look at executives and their peers is only a small part of the book.
What I was interested, but sadly wasn't addressed head-on, was whether or not emotional intelligence is innate. There's a lot of talk about brain chemistry and the evolution of the brain, yet no discernible answer as to the innateness of this type of intelligence. I get the impression the author thinks it can be taught--he does call it intelligence after all--but can it though? Don't you need a certain innate temperament to learn it? I mean, if you don't like people, that can certainly hamper the process.
This is a good textbook overall and an easy read as it was written for the general public. Lots of concrete, ripped-from-the-headlines scenarios are used and dissected. So for me, there was a lot of "fluff" for lack of a better word to wade through before I found something interesting. However, people who don't have a background in psychology or are unfamiliar with it altogether will find this book a great introduction to contemporary theories.
View all 4 comments. Aug 15, Gage marked it as to-read. If you're like me, you're extremely leery of anything that reeks of pop psychology. But Emotional Intelligence has no such odor. First, author Daniel Goleman is the real deal. He has his PhD, of course, as do many snake oil salesmen, but unlike these others, Goleman has academic street cred: At first glance, I can see that this book, though written more than 10 years ago, still packs a If you're like me, you're extremely leery of anything that reeks of pop psychology.
At first glance, I can see that this book, though written more than 10 years ago, still packs a punch. We still live in a world, after all, of road rage and horrific, random violence. From my brief inspection, it appears that Goleman describes how the emotional mind is just as important as the rational mind. Its short, pithy chapters are full of anecdotes. This is good, in case you want to get deeper into the subject. Here's Goleman's website and blog: Somebody needs to tell him to update his mugshot or lose the fro. Oct 05, Katja rated it really liked it. Emotional Intelligence produced such conflicting feelings in me that I am torn as to what to write about it.
For the most part, it is well-written, intelligent and compelling.
Why It Can Matter More Than IQ
On some level I think Daniel Goleman and I think in much the same way, and even though the book is 15 years old now, on the whole it is as applicable as it ever was. Secondly — and this is what really disappointed me - at several points throughout the book, he does one of the WORST possible things a non-fiction writer can do: He cites a study that found children in their teenage years are more moody, secretive and irritable than when they were children — and uses that to support an argument that people are getting unhappier across the lifespan really?
What makes the doomsday predictions particularly embarrassing is the statistics he cites regarding rising violence and cocaine use, stating expert predictions that violent crime among the young would increase drastically in the years to come. So all I can say is: I know that most of this review is an angry rant, but I've still given it four stars because I chose to be reasonable and not let those things be deal-breakers. I really did enjoy the vast majority of this book.
Emotional Intelligence : Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman (1997, Paperback)
I think the best part of the book is when he explained about the five major components of the emotional intelligence as: Recognize and understand your own moods and motivations and their effect on others. To achieve this state, you must be able to monitor your own emotional state and identify your own emotions. Emotional Maturity in this trait shows: Controlling your impulses—instead of being quick to react rashly, you can reign in your emotions and think before responding.
You express yourself appropriately. You respond in a manner which would not escalate the situation. Internal motivation is marked by an interest in learning. It is also self-improvement vs. This is only possible when one has achieved self-awareness—as one cannot understand others until they understand themselves. Identifying social cues to establish common ground, manage relationships and build networks.
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Listening and responding appropriately -Influence and Leadership: The ability to guide and inspire others -Conflict Management: The ability to diffuse difficult situations using persuasion and negotiation. Sep 10, Thomas rated it really liked it Shelves: A great book that delves into the science behind emotional intelligence, the components that comprise the trait, and the practical applications of possessing EI.
While I knew a decent amount of the information beforehand as a Psychology student, several points stood out to me, such as the explanation of child molesters' mindsets, the idea that abused children gain heightened emotional perceptiveness, and almost all of the brain-related information. My favorite sections appeared toward the end, w A great book that delves into the science behind emotional intelligence, the components that comprise the trait, and the practical applications of possessing EI.
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My favorite sections appeared toward the end, when Goleman shared success stories of emotional intelligence being taught in schools. One can only imagine - unless he or she works to make it a reality - the collective benefit of bringing social and emotional lessons to every Elementary school and beyond. Highly recommended for those who want to understand not only their own emotions, but the emotions of those around them. You can check out Jim's review for more about the contents within the book.
Jun 25, Alok Mishra rated it really liked it. The book is informative and it can certainly be enjoyed by the readers - serious as well as casual page-flippers. The book has a lot of useful information for the first category readers and a number of interesting facts for the second category readers. I read it somewhere in-between and was delighted as well as informed. I read this years ago - the reading date of is entirely arbitrary and I'm writing this at the end of I remember the essential messages vividly, especially his discussion of why emotional thresholds differ, and the importance of counting to 10 to let the rational brain kick in over the primitive amygdala response.
A good deep breath goes a long way. I love the concept of emotional intelligence - very useful in dealing with others. A difficult book to review and my 2 stars are an honest reflection on what I gained personally from reading the book, rather than what the world gained from the book having been written. This was clearly a groundbreaking and seminal work, particularly in bringing the important topic of emotional intelligence to a wide audience.
However, that doesn't necessarily make it a worthwhile read 20 years later, particularly for those in search of practical advice.
There is a significant focus on how the b A difficult book to review and my 2 stars are an honest reflection on what I gained personally from reading the book, rather than what the world gained from the book having been written. There is a significant focus on how the brain works, but learning that the key to self-awareness is "to have an activated neocortex" may be educational but hardly practically useful.